madness

There are days when you feel awfully weak but your brain wouldn’t cooperate, you just wish you could hit it against the wall. You wanted to shut it down, but it kept you awake in the nothingness. Thinking of something or someone might be bothering you, so you start digging—seeking for nothing. Then your heart starts to pound triple than usual, you pull your hair just to make it stop. 

For a moment you wanted to feel numb and simply forget the world around you. Because no matter how you would want to explain it the exact way how you felt it, nobody will seem to understand the depth of the insane world inside you. 

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hence the page's name.. because nobody really knows. 

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"madness," in my book, "the art of losing you."

this is my story, and my story could represent yours.

to someone who has my heart

To the person who'll always have a part of my heart, 

In our lives, we all have that one person who will always hold a special place in our hearts no matter who we love and who we end up with. For me, that person is you.

  

Before I met you, I didn't know what it was like to fall in love with someone so terribly that you can never hate them. You've spoilt me in such a way that if I ever love again, I would search a part of you in them. With you, every moment felt right. I can't even start to emphasize on the things you've taught me over the period. 

  

I thought you were the one for me and that in some parallel universe someone had decided that we were made for each other. But one fine day, you left me and everything came crashing down. It was not easy to bid you goodbye after loving you for so long. I started to curse myself for being overly in love with you. That night when I cried myself to sleep, it was not easy for me to gulp down the fact that I'd have to wake up the next morning just to realize we're not the same maniacs anymore. 

  

I am not writing this letter to make you feel sorry for me. I just want you to know that I loved you. I loved you through the emotional part of the roller-coaster you brought into my life. I loved you on the days when you were pleasant and kind, and also on the days when you didn't even love yourself. After all, love made me do things I never knew I was capable of. Beautiful mostly, ugly too. Today when I look back, I still remember your smile, a smile that would lighten up my mood within seconds. 

  

I don't know where life will take us in the next 10 years- but you'll still be one of the best things ever happened to me. It was a privilege to have you in my life for the time I did. I'll remember how beautiful it was, how beautiful it will always be. You'll always have a part of my heart, even if we don't have each other. 

From, 

Someone who loved you

maaaa

Dear Maa

Isn't it strange that many people call mother as maa, some call mom and people like me who'll call you while screening your name when I'm not finding anything "mummmmy"

But it's rightly said whatever name we call but the meaning and emotion is same "love".

You're a true spirit of love, emotions and compassion because the kind of daughter I'm other one should be beating me with the sticks🙈🙈 but you don't and I'm thankful for that😀

Maa just want to say that thankyou for always taking care of me in I'll times and supporting me at that time when I was not finding a way to come out from the cocoon which I made after coming back from Delhi, thankyou for trusting and letting me fly to achieve the dreams.

I might have hurt you in many ways but you had let it all go. You still stood by me, encouraged me, supported me and made me strong enough to face the world. 

Nobody can ever match you maa, haan ashriti can but me noway but I can try my best to cook like you rest ashi can handle😀 but doesn't mean that I'll not torture you, I'll do with my voice everytime when I'm not finding anything, when I don't want to attend the call and especially cooking but don't think I'll  will start cooking after this note, no I'll not do that ever🤣🤣 

Thankyou for everything you did for us mummy

We love you

Wishing you and every mother a happy mother's day😍😍😍

my people

my kind of people 

1. people who will put an alarm just to wake up their friends even though they’ve never gotten up on time themselves are my kind of people.

2. people who will always ask you if you want something from whatever place they’re ordering just to keep you included are my kind of people.

3. people who will hold a seat for you are my kind of people.

4. people who understand that sometimes you need to be left alone and it’s okay when you don’t reply because you’re overwhelmed are my kind of people.

5. people who stand up for you when you’re not around are my kind of people.

6. people who send unexpected texts suggesting new books, songs or movies for you to explore are my kind of people.

7. people who don’t mind sharing their food are my kind of people.

8. people who will willingly help you whenever you ask something from them are my kind of people.

9. people who think before they speak are my kind of people.

broken

How broken are we?

Holding on to something that's falling apart or that has already fallen apart, is ridiculous. Clinging to someone who is already miles away from you is madness. Hoping to find what is long lost is stupidity. Believing in things which you know are lies is insanity. Yet we choose to do exactly this. All of this.

 

How broken are we?

People wish on shooting stars. Shooting stars aren't even stars. They're bits of rock that hit the earth's atmosphere, lighting up on the way. They're "falling stars". And we wish on these destroyed particles. We believe in infinities, knowing that they barely exist. We make up tiny versions of a perfect world and crawl inside them. 

How broken are we?

We roll up some finely crushed marijuana into perfect joints and throw ourselves into an ocean of trance, something you'd never remember again. We would push aside the glass of water and lift a glass of neat scotch to our lips. We'd hook up with someone for a night only to walk out the next morning, realizing that we never bothered to know their name.

How broken are we? 

Millennials. Maturity hitting us even before we're ready for it. Acting a few years older than our actual self. Being someone we're not. Doing things we don't want to, just to get along with a particular crowd. Alcohol, sex, weed, tobacco and more alcohol. Depression. Suicide. Therapy. Regret. It's a cycle.

We're broken beyond repair. It needn't be evident, but we aren't fine. And we need to find a way to mend ourselves.

Because, like I said, holding on to something that's falling apart or that has already fallen apart is ridiculous.

And here, we're the one's who are broken.