Aman, Aman Mathur naam to suna hoga!!!

Dear Aman,

Aman! Aman Mathur! The guy who changed everyone's life. I still wonder if there's any guy alive who'd sing for me "Pretty woman dekho dekho na..." I was 10 when I first met you and was incapable of understanding a single word that you said. All I did was, dance and jingle mom's bangles on 'Maahi ve'. But now after 17 years not only I do understand, but feel every damn word that you said. Especially "Jiyo, muskurao, khush raho, kya pata Kal Ho Na Ho." I never thought your words would make this much sense to me. We all try to stay real strong Aman, untill you open the blank diary and say "I love you very very much Naina..." I've watched you saying this more than thousand times and I still need a tissue box to watch it. Everytime, I looked into your eyes, I felt a part of melting down. You did bright up everyone's life, whereas yours was shattering in the dark. You made everyone's every day remarkable whereas you were counting your last days. You couldn't survive Aman, but you made everybody live every bit of their lives.

Honestly, it's one of the toughest jobs to see your loved one with someone else and smile with ease. If there was any definition of unconditional love, I'd have named yours. All you wanted was to see Naina happy, even though that brought tears in your eyes.

You knew, Naina wouldn't be able to be with Rohit, after being loved by you. So, you just lied to her. Though, you made sure Naina was loved, doesn't matter if it was by you or Rohit. From Jennifer to Lajjo, Gia to Sweetu, you took care of everyone's happiness. You were truly an angel, Aman. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if you were alive, 'kaash tum Rohit ki jagah hote.' May be sometimes you need to let your love go. That may not cause you any benefit, but for their happiness. Kyunki,

"Uss baat ko jaane hi do, jiska nishaan Kal Ho Naa Ho."

You made us realise we should never take life and our loved ones for granted. I repeat, Never! Especially considering your magical lines "Suno, Jiyo, muskurao, Khush raho, kya pata kal Ho Naa Ho."

Yours truly,

A girl who still cries watching you

How I can leave them??

And when the going gets tough and things no longer work out, after a certain number of tries, that's when you choose to exit. Yes, you've tried to fix things, you've tried to do better, stick together, as you should, but even after everything, when nothing gets better, you choose to exit.

But can you really exit? Is it so easy? All those years of memories you created, the dreams you dreamt of, the future you foresaw together, is it so easy to leave it all behind? You find yourself saying goodbye and still coming back, you've grown attached to them more than you should be.

Goodbye? Oh no please, can't we just go back to Page 1 and Do it all over. You try, you really do try, sometimes alone, sometimes together, and everytime you choose to walk away, there's some invisible string pulling from behind. Ah, walking away, ain't so easy right?

They said, Love is the most dangerously beautiful thing in the world. I believe there's something more extreme than love - it's called attachment. Because even when all the love fades away, or even when it hasn't yet grown, attachment stays. You can't easily leave behind someone, all because you're attached.

Otherwise, why do most people still get a slight thought about their ex even when they are in a relationship with someone else? Why do you keep going back tothat toxic person even after knowing how manipulative they are? It's simple really, you're attached, no matter how many times you say goodbye, you can't really leave them.

But how long can you put up with this charade? How long can you keep saying goodbye? Once in a while, you do finally realise, it's time, you muster up the courage and after thousands of goodbyes, you bid the final one. You do what you needed to.

And when the going gets tough and things no longer work out, after a certain number of tries, that's when you choose to exit. For real this time. But, how many times can you say goodbye to a person before you can finally leave them?

And Suddenly we are 30

And suddenly, we are 30. It feels like a decade has passed in a day, and now photos taken on our first phones with negligible megapixels and no zoom are surprisingly higher in quality than the latest iPhone. 

Just yesterday, we were excited about beginning our time in college; last afternoon, we were brimming with hope about the future and looking forward to seeing where life takes us, and only last night, we were out causing mayhem on the streets, enjoying our new found financial independence, downing Jagers, knowing our bodies could handle it and. We danced the night away with the people we grew up with, and hangovers were a foreign concept. 

Yet we woke up to the hangover of adult friendships. Some friends are married, some are going for their MBA, and some have quit their jobs, overwhelmed with the soul-draining nature of their jobs and are now travelling the world. Weekly group outings have become annual wedding reunions. Friends who lived a 2-minute walk away are now a 5-hour flight away. Yesterday, we were ready to take the world head-on; today, some of us have been knocked down by life. 

We are not defeated; we are just dusting ourselves off to have another crack at it. From being excited about birthdays months in advance to not knowing what we are doing even a day before, the years have become something that happens to us. The enthusiasm of youth is slowly breathing its last breath, but taking its place is the contentment that comes with age. We are the ones who grew parallel to social media and while it has continuously evolved it has continuously stopped us from doing the same. 

I hope we realise that “life was simpler back then” will always apply and has always applied. Today, we are living a simpler life than tomorrow, and tomorrow is 40. Your bones may have started to creak, your left shoulder and your heart may be injured, but there is life in them yet. Get in your stretches and get out there. There is a life to be lived

searching wrong one

You are searching for her in all the wrong places

You search for her at the back seat of the car, She drives herself to places

You search for her in verses of the song, She is the chorus. 

You search for belan in her hands

She has got hold of pen

The kitchen doesn't smell like her

She is spreading her fragrance in libraries

You search for her name in marriage certificate, she is holding degrees with her name

You search for her walking hand in hand with some guy, she has chosen to enjoy her own company while fulfilling every wish she wants.

You search for her in homes at night

She is dancing in a party she informed you about and didn't seek your approval

You search for her feet on the ground

She is flying people to countries

You search for her head nodding

She has learnt to move her head left and then right

Main immature hn

Jab koi tumse kahe
"Tum kitni immature ho"
Toh unse kehna
Han mai immature hu
voh kya haina ki life ne mujhe bhut kuch sikhaya hai.
Bachpan se mujhe khud apna hath pakad kar chalna sikhaya hai.
Har kadam par mene khud ka sath nibhaya hai.
Jb is zindagi ne mujhse haar maan li mene khud ko jeena sikhaya hai.
Apno ke bich mene khudko akela paaya hai.
Han mai immature hu
lakin shyd isliye kuki mai khul kar hans leti hu
Kuch bhi baat ho mai hans kr taal deti hu
Shyd mai un sbse thoda alag sochti hu...
Toh Han mai Immature hu
Mai sab par bharosa krti hu
Mai uro ko uro ki nazro se nhi
khudki nazaron se dekhti hu
Mai apna dil tod kr sabka dil rakhti hu toh han.
Han mai immature hu.... ❤